An Unexpected Visitor....

I have wanted to write about this for the last two months, but, somehow, in the midst of life, have put it off... until NOW!

The background:
I have a friend...a newly-found, long-lost friend...
We graduated from High School together, went to CMU together, we were family. Literally....

I remember the last time I saw my sweet friend (in NC at her baptism) and the last conversation that we had on the phone. I remember the tears, the frustration, the loneliness....
I remember opening a facebook account just 3 1/2 years ago and adding her as a friend. I remember the first email I got from her, although, at this point, I can't remember if she emailed me out of the blue, or if I emailed her first. But, it was great! It was wonderful. It had been 3 years without any contact at all and it felt good to know that she was happy and healthy! I remember getting married and thinking that she should have been standing next to my sister in my wedding. And I remember emailing her to tell her I was pregnant with Brooke when our families didn't even know (hey, she was far enough away.... I knew she wouldn't spill the beans;)). I remember when she told me she was getting married- I was thrilled for her!

I remember praying for her. Praying for her to find love, be happy, love God... Mostly, though, I prayed for the reconciliation of our friendship. I prayed... and prayed... and prayed. I remember telling Rob once that if she called me and needed me that I would get on the first plane to NC no matter what I was doing or what the cost. That I would be there....

Then it came... two months shy of six years.... a text which read: "Hey lady! What are you doing tomorrow? I would really like to come and spend the day with you and meet your kids..."

WHAT?! Call me!

And then I heard it: her sweet little voice (now with the hint of a southern drawl)...
Sure enough, her man was racing at MIS and, well, "Your house is ONLY 2 1/2 hours from the track.... can I come see you?"

YES!!!

I hung up and called my mom bawling! The Lord had heard my cries- He had answered my prayers! My long, lost 'sister' was coming to see me!

It was amazing... she was at MY house... with MY kids! We laughed, we cried, we were. So much had changed, yet, it was still the same. Wonderful!

When she left that day, I felt all those feelings again. I cried for a week straight! She had taken the time to drive 5 hours in one day, to come and see me, and learn about my life. It was such an amazing gift.

What was even more amazing?! That God used her to show His faithfulness. I prayed without ceasing and He answered in His perfect time! Just when I needed it the most; just when I didn't think that I could 'do' another day of 'this.' He gave me hope by bringing us back to the place that we both needed.

Thank you, Jesus, for bringing my dear friend back to me! I love you!

Another Year...

Well... another year has come and gone. As I enter into this 30th year of my life I can't help but reflect on the previous 29 and all the events that have shaped who I am today.

My 29th birthday was wonderful- it was the first birthday that I was able to celebrate with BOTH of my kids! I loved waking up as a Mommy-of-two this year! It was amazing... the day just kept getting better and better.

It was just an ordinary day for me... a day in the life of a stay at home mom of two little ones. Nothing significant at all.... Well... I shouldn't say that. We spent the evening celebrating my niece Ellie's 5th birthday. It was great being at a party for a little person that I love so much. She was sooo excited to watch me open the present she made me... she even wanted to open the present we gave her first! Ellie got this cute little look on her face every time we would look at each other and she would say something like, "It's your birthday today, and we are having a party for me, too!" She was excited to share a day with me, and, that was a great gift.
We also got to watch the emotional news special about Ellie's mom, Nichole. I wrote about her a few weeks ago... we watched the 6:00 news as she relived the events of earlier on August 12- where she met the doctors and nurses that saved her life during her cardiac arrest. It was a very special moment to share with her; her friends, and our family.

I have to say that I am "uber" (what's with that word anyway?!) excited about this upcoming year. I feel more like ME than I have in a long time. I don't know if it was all the pregnancy hormones that my body literally had two full years of, or what, but, I am finally feeling like I can live! I find myself smiling more, flying by the seat of my pants more, and, just being nicer! HA! I actually WANT to see people now... weird, huh?!

I do have a goal for the year... It's kind of a silly one, but, for me, it's huge! I hope to NOT have a baby during this year of my life! HA! Yes, we definitely want more kids, and, we wouldn't want to wait a long time in between Shane and the next little Wrona, but, I NEED a break. My body NEEDS a break. And, Rob NEEDS a wife! I hope that the Lord honors this desire that we have for some time!

Here's to one more year!

Unspoken Fear....

There is a fear amongst mothers. It is unspoken.... Until Now!

As mothers, we fear for our children: "What if something happens to them?" "Will they be safe?" "Will they experience pain?"

As wives, we fear for our husbands: "Will he be taken unexpectedly?" "What if this is the last time I see him/tell him I love him/'be' with him?"

These are the spoken fears of mothers; prayed about, talked about, worried about....

But the unspoken fear of mothers cuts to the core. It is a fear that roots itself in pride and creates anxiety and stress. As a mother, my fear is....

"What if something happens to ME?"

I know that if something happened to Rob that our family would be devastated. I would be lost without him. My husband: best friend, teacher, the love of my life; father of my children. If something happened to him, my world would be rocked and I would never be the same. Our children would be without the person in their lives that impacts them the most.
If something happened to Rob, I would be miserable, lonely, incomplete.... but I would survive... I would HAVE to survive.

When you become a mother something changes in you.... you are given the ability to press on in circumstances that would cause most people to give up. Motherhood requires from you the emotional, physical, and mental energy that no other position ever will. You survive things that are 'unsurvivable'... and you do it for your kids.

"What if something happens to ME?"

This question haunts me. What would happen to my Brooke and Shane? Yes, they would have their daddy (and, oh what a great daddy he is!), but, they NEED me.

In the heart of every mother this fear resounds as we look at our children day in and day out. We create routines, schedules; know food preferences and allergies, and understand what our kids need to feel secure and comforted. No one else knows these things! No one else can do it! No one else can be ME!

It would take a humble woman indeed to know that her family would survive without her each day; it would take an even humbler woman to believe that someone else could step in and do her job day in and day out.

Let's face it, Mommies, we don't want to know that our families would still function without us: That they would survive just as we would in the midst of tragedy.

Instead, we wallow in our pride and allow fear to take root.

I want to challenge myself and the rest of the mothers of the world to "Fear not!" Let's claim the freedom from fear for ourselves AND our families!

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand..." -Isaiah 41:10