A promise...

In chapter four of the book of James a promise is made that I am clinging to and claiming today.

"Draw near to the Lord, and he will draw near to you."

Quite frankly, this week I've been a mess- for no apparent reason! I have been on the verge of a full blown panic attack (or what I can only imagine is one coming) for three days now. My heart racing, the anxiety building- choking the life right out of me... THIS IS NOT ME!

It is so strange- just when I start to feel a little momentum I hit a brick wall that is so hard and so high that it plain knocks me right out.  Flat out. Cold. Whoa.

Today, by God's mercy and grace he gave me this promise, once again. When I needed it the most.

His whisper: "Bethany, just draw near to me. Everything is fine. I am here. I know what I am doing. Trust me. Move into me and I will wrap you in the safety and power of my love. 'Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God! I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.' "

I will not be anxious about tomorrow, next week, or next month. I will not fear the unknown. I will trust that my Lord is moving mountains in our lives and that, in His perfect timing His will will unravel before my eyes- when that happens I will look back at today, and yesterday and remember how much time and energy I wasted being anxious.....

Finally.... peace!

A Place of Desperation...

I haven't written anything in so long.... Maybe that has, in part, led to some of the "blah" I have been feeling. I haven't made time for anything, much less, sorting through my thoughts and getting them down "on paper."

The Lord has brought me to a place of desperation...

Desperation for HIM... desire for His Will in my life, in our family; for my husband and my kids.

Zechariah 1:3b "'Return to me,' declares the LORD Almighty, 'and I will return to you,' says the LORD Almighty."

We are returning to Him... full on... ready to listen to His Whisper and obey His call. I have found myself becoming anxious about what He may 'call' us to... then the gentle whisper reminds me to "Not be anxious about anything..."


Zephaniah 3: 17 "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

Unspoken Fear....

There is a fear amongst mothers. It is unspoken.... Until Now!

As mothers, we fear for our children: "What if something happens to them?" "Will they be safe?" "Will they experience pain?"

As wives, we fear for our husbands: "Will he be taken unexpectedly?" "What if this is the last time I see him/tell him I love him/'be' with him?"

These are the spoken fears of mothers; prayed about, talked about, worried about....

But the unspoken fear of mothers cuts to the core. It is a fear that roots itself in pride and creates anxiety and stress. As a mother, my fear is....

"What if something happens to ME?"

I know that if something happened to Rob that our family would be devastated. I would be lost without him. My husband: best friend, teacher, the love of my life; father of my children. If something happened to him, my world would be rocked and I would never be the same. Our children would be without the person in their lives that impacts them the most.
If something happened to Rob, I would be miserable, lonely, incomplete.... but I would survive... I would HAVE to survive.

When you become a mother something changes in you.... you are given the ability to press on in circumstances that would cause most people to give up. Motherhood requires from you the emotional, physical, and mental energy that no other position ever will. You survive things that are 'unsurvivable'... and you do it for your kids.

"What if something happens to ME?"

This question haunts me. What would happen to my Brooke and Shane? Yes, they would have their daddy (and, oh what a great daddy he is!), but, they NEED me.

In the heart of every mother this fear resounds as we look at our children day in and day out. We create routines, schedules; know food preferences and allergies, and understand what our kids need to feel secure and comforted. No one else knows these things! No one else can do it! No one else can be ME!

It would take a humble woman indeed to know that her family would survive without her each day; it would take an even humbler woman to believe that someone else could step in and do her job day in and day out.

Let's face it, Mommies, we don't want to know that our families would still function without us: That they would survive just as we would in the midst of tragedy.

Instead, we wallow in our pride and allow fear to take root.

I want to challenge myself and the rest of the mothers of the world to "Fear not!" Let's claim the freedom from fear for ourselves AND our families!

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand..." -Isaiah 41:10